Wives submit to your husbands. What?! Did she just say “wives submit to your husbands? Girl, it is 2019, we are equal, what about women’s rights, what about equality?” Women, simmer down!
It is 2019 and we are completely in a day and age of power, women want power, actually it appears as though everyone wants power. I am here to tell you that seeking all the power is dangerous. I can tell you from personal experience that trying to be dominant will only land you on your behind.
I was married ten years ago and I had no idea what it meant to be a wife, I had no idea what it meant to be respectful, and I had no idea what I was doing. Lean in, let me to tell you a secret… whispers, “I tore down my home with my own two hands.” Now, for my fellow bible readers, you might know what I mean when I say this, but for those who are not bible readers (or bible thumpers as some have called us), there is such a thing as women acting a fool which will basically lead to you shooting yourself in the foot.
Everywhere I turn it’s “support women”, “no uterus, no opinion”, “women’s equality”, now as a woman, yes, of course I want respect, of course I want to be treated with fairness and love, and yes, I want to be acknowledged, and no I do not want others making choices for me. I get it. I am the most rebellious person ever. Let me put it this way, I have always been the type of person to do the opposite of what I was told (even if I didn’t want to) just to prove a point, just to show you, “you can’t tell me what to do”. FOOLISHNESS. This did not change when I became a wife. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my husband deep down in my heart however, towards the end, I completely didn’t show it, I showed him the opposite actually.
My husband and I dealt with the same issues every other married couple dealt with; finances, taking turns with chores and parenting, and the worst one of all, “why should I do this for you if you don’t this for me?” Isn’t this what we all hear everyday my friends!? Congratulations world, we have now managed to turn love into a tally marking kind of game! (Slow claps)
While my husband and I had marital problems, we also had respect problems… as in I did not respect him. Yes, I am calling myself out, I did not respect him nor did I show it, and for this I am deeply sorry and completely remorseful. Now, I won’t go through all the details only to protect his privacy, but I will say this. My mentality was “YOU will respect ME“, “I will be the dominant one”, “I will not let you run all over me”, “I will show you”, “women are equal, women are equal, women are EQUAL!” Oh dear….. how I wish I could go back in time and shake myself.
So where did this lead? What were the consequences of my ratchet behavior? Well….let’s just say I am now a single mother…..and not because I wanted to be. Unfortunately, I realized the error of my ways once he was fully checked out, not only mentally and emotionally, but physically too.
I think the mantra of this era is “love wins”……(and “protect women’s rights!”). Do we even know what that means? What is love? I said LOVE. I did not say lust, I did not say retaliation, I did not say stipulations, I did not say conditions, I did not say feelings. I said love. What is love!?
Did you know that when you love someone you do not slander them nor are you rude to them? Did you know that when you love someone you are not proud? NOT proud! You don’t keep records of wrongs either….which means no more marking tally’s my friends! Did you know that when you love someone you are to be patient and kind? Also, love is not selfish! Oh boy….NOT selfish! (somewhere out there someones bubble is bursting) Now that is a huge one as our generation has become HIGHLY selfish! “Do what makes YOU happy”, “Girl who cares how he feels, how do YOU feel?” I wonder why there are so many divorces….probably because we are all thinking of ourselves…
My ladies, God tells us to be submissive to our husband, to respect them. Now my assumption is that God is a lot wiser than any of us….I mean…he did create us and all….but what do I know…. I mean, I only experienced first hand what happens when you’re the opposite of submissive and respectful, and I do not wish it on anyone. But wait, you know what else God says? Husbands, love your wives! God does not want men abusing their roles in the marriage. Whew! What a relief, looks like God is lookin’ out for us after all huh ladies? God is a God of order. He has roles and purposes for all of us, this is why he commands us to do certain things, or not to do certain things. For example, for you parent’s out there… you wouldn’t want your child playing with fire right? Why is that? Not because you are trying to be a fun sucker, but because you do not want them to be burned! From a child’s perspective, the parent is a real kill joy, but the parent knows what will happen if the fire touches the child. God is the same way, he wants to protect us!
In conclusion… I have felt eager for years to tell women everywhere what no one told me… be submissive, be gentle, be love. Love IS NOT a feeling. I REPEAT…LOVE IS NOT A FEELING- it is an actual VERB. A VERB. LOVE IS A VERB! Ugh…I need a mountain to scream this off of!
Luckily, when my husband left, he left the door wide open for Jesus to come in. I know now what love is because Jesus has showed me. He gave me undeserving love. I am so grateful that God is not like humans… other wise Christ would have never walked in through that wide opened door, he probably would have patted my husband on the back and said, “Good for you! She doesn’t deserve you, you show her who’s boss! Now, let’s go get a pizza!” Nope, I believe he hugged him and then came and hugged me, without picking teams. Jesus has been teaching me to serve, after all Jesus humbled HIMSELF and served us, died for us, and is our advocate! If a king humbled himself down….we should too.
I don’t always get it right and to be honest I am naturally a very irritable person… but I’m working on it…EVERYDAY. Take heart guys… Jesus can overcome it all. He is a redeemer. No one can show love if they don’t have it, if they don’t know what it is, but if you know what it is, go show it to someone who clearly doesn’t have a clue. Spread that stuff like wildfire. No one deserves it, yet God is gracious enough to give it, we have the power to do so too. Be powerful….IN LOVE.
2 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word,27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body.
31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[b] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.